Last year I promised to report on any spider repellents that worked.

Sad to say, a plethora of conkers at every door and copious spraying of No More Spiders deterrent spray (ha!) has had zero effect on this year’s invaders, of which, according to The Guardian, there are even more this year.

The eight-legged blighters are definitely bigger. We’ve certainly had three of the largest arachnids I’ve seen since holidaying in France gave me heart failure every time I had to use the bathroom.

Our home’s spider-finding general (my husband) is now on strike over using the cup-and-card method of spider-evacuation. The sucker-upper I bought last year is too small to suck up the size of spider we’re getting.  The cat plays spider snooker when he sees one but refuses to take them outside.

As a lifelong arachnophobe, I’m left with no choice but to return to tried-and-tested methods! Now where’s that boot…

The only true spider repellent...