It’s autumn and large spiders are infesting our house. I’m not exaggerating: at least two a night are scuttling across the lounge as if they own the place. And if they get into the home office, work will be suspended until they’re dealt with!
For a lifelong arachnophobe, going from a relatively arachnid-free August to an eight-legged-freak show in September is a seasonal nightmare.
But this year it’s worse. The ugly monsters are bigger than normal, because the weather’s been perfect for them. Our unusual influx may also be due to location. We’re just six miles from Reading University, which according to Buglife is one of the most spiderific areas in the country. Something to consider if you’re moving house.
So why do the hideous monsters turn usually sane people into quivering wrecks? Learned behaviour, says a local hypnotherapist, who promises to cure the afflicted in three sessions.
Should I take her up on the offer? My husband thinks so. He’s the one who’s on spider-catching duty if one of the blighters shows its ugly face. I certainly can’t rely on Nimrod – a cat who has singularly failed to live up to his ‘mighty hunter’ nom de plume.
He plays with them a bit, gets bored, then leaves them to scuttle back under the sofa. And as every spider-hater knows, the idea that they’re lurking in the house, ready to pounce, is worse than anything.
So bravely deciding to deal with this year’s infestation myself, I turned to Facebook – friends have so far recommended conkers, Raid, mops and a website on home remedies.
So after a £30 splurge on anti-spider bottled sprays and a spider hoover-upper shaped like a Star Wars light sabre, I’m ready for action. Anyone with a better idea, I’d love to hear them!
I am also an arachnophobe so all this sounds hideous. Some years ago I lodged with a friend for six months in Highgate. One night when I was in bed,I flung back my quilt to go and shut the window, as there was a noisy party going on. Lying right next to me in the bed was a ginormous spider of proportions I’d never seen before in England. Definitely the size of a suacer.
I didn’t realise I could leap out of bed quite so quickly.
It scuttled off but I couldn’t find where it had gone. There was no way I could sleep in my bedroom, so I debunked to the sofa bed in the sitting room.
My friend (who has no fear of spiders)found it the next morning and carefully got rid of it some distance from his house. The next night, I was half asleep when I heard a chchchch noise near my head. It was AN EVEN BIGGER SPIDER crawling across the wall just above head height. I went yelling to my friend who came to the rescue. This spider was too big even for him to tackle so he – ahem – got the hoover out.
The next day I went flat hunting because I couldn’t stand being in his flat any longer!
Yikes, you have my utmost sympathy. How’s Alan with them?
It reminds me of a flatshare I had with my sister (also afflicted with spider fear). We used a six-foot plank to kill spiders as we couldn’t bear getting close enough to them to take them out. She stood one end and I took the other. We positioned it over said arachnid and on a count of three dropped it and ran! I’m shivering at the memory.
My brother also had a horrific experience putting a bare foot into his wellie boot and squashing one that had made it into a home. Yuk yuk yuk.
Do you find yourself freaking out at anything that looks spiderish, even if it isn’t? Bits of fluff and green tomato stalks have all been known to make me jump.
Luckily, Alan is fine with them and disposes of them over the balcony – where they float to the ground. Your brother’s episode reminds me when I put my hand into my science overall to reach for my tissue and brought out a spider. YUK. Not as massive as the ones in my previous comment but it still had hairy legs.
When I went to University, my father (a lover of all creatures) used to put any spider he found around the house in my wardrobe. As I was only going to be using it in the holidays, he decided it would make a nice home for them. Hmmm.
Ooh – just remembered a friend telling me how she ran down a grassy slope on holiday in China. When it was a split second too late she realised there was a very large spider’s web containing a very large spider strung between two bushes. Unfortunately she ran straight into the web and the spider…
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